


heaven is a place i know

by humanveil



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14695350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/pseuds/humanveil
Summary: Afterwards, Stephen’s dreams are haunted. It’s not always by nightmares.





	heaven is a place i know

**Author's Note:**

> the outline for this fic is wildly different but that version wasn’t co-operating, so. written for day five of the ironstrange week: hurting | healing. it’s a rather loose use of the prompt, but anyway. 
> 
> also a fill for the ‘dreams/daydreams/wishes’ square on my [gen prompt bingo card](https://snax0.dreamwidth.org/27494.html).
> 
> enjoy!

The dreams are a gradual thing, a slow rise in the aftermath of Thanos’ defeat. Increasing in frequency until they’re a constant: something Stephen can rely on to happen, no matter how much he wants otherwise. No matter how many nights he spends wishing for a dreamless sleep.

At first, it’s nightmares. Flashes of the realities he’d lived through—of death and destruction and war and defeat. Of bloodied, broken bodies and people grieving over them. Of friends, enemies, team mates crumbling to their knees, disappearing to dust like they’d never really been there at all.

On nights like that, when he’s ripped from rest with a start, skin covered in a layer of sweat, his breath short and heavy, his throat tight with the memory of panic, pain, _fear_ , he’ll wake up and work. Will read, study. Will lose himself in words, until the images of dead loved ones bleed away to spells and runes and sorcery. To things he _knows_. Is familiar with. A surreal safety net that brings comfort even now. Until the memories fade and he can get on with his day.

But it’s not always nightmares. There are times, when he’s lucky, where it’s the opposite. Where he closes his eyes and drifts off, where he’s met with flashes of intimacy, where the images are blanketed in an aura of love. Where, instead of anguished screams, there are soft, stuttered sighs and gently whispered words: the feel of warm breath against bare skin a sensation that’s almost tangible. Where colour plays behind his eyelids, where his image of Tony is someone who is happy, whose mouth is pulled back in a grin, eyes glittering with mirth, with mischief. With a promise that tells Stephen there are good things to come. That their future isn’t just a futile battle and an unmarked grave.

It’s nights like these that he prefers. These half remembered moments from realities where they didn’t lose immediately, where they live through it only for it to come crashing down on them later. Where things were _fine_ , for a time. Where amicability grows to friendship and friendship grows to more. Where Tony lies beneath him, the early morning light cascading across their intertwined bodies and lighting up the space around them. Where hands, his: scared and shaking, will reach, hover. His fingers fluttering across a bare chest that’s covered in marks to match. Where Tony will outstretch a hand, slide his palm across Stephen’s wrist, press a thumb to the pulse point and wait. Feel. Relish in the evidence of their survival. Where Tony’s hand will eventually curl around Stephen’s own, the grip tight and secure. With no chance of fading away.

It’s these moments, these brief seconds of solace that stick around. Linger. The fleeting frivolity a memory he isn’t quite ready to forget; the happenings of past possibilities reflective of his desires here, now, in the world where they’ve won. Where Stephen waits, patient, for Tony to finish playing catch up.

**Author's Note:**

> comments & kudos = ♡♡♡
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/irnstrk) / [tumblr](http://humanveil.tumblr.com/)


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